working theories: may 2026
muir woods
what’s on my mind this month
who are you when you’re not doing?
Forewarning: this one’s a little tender.
I work with a licensed therapist who specializes in music therapy. It’s a really beautiful way to sit with my uncomfortable feelings and feel my way through them.
Not every session involves music. Most times, it’s just talk therapy. On especially heavy days, she gently suggests using music therapy to help me confront my emotions.
When I first started working with this therapist, our music sessions were debilitating. I’m talking full on days of existential crises. They were so emotionally overwhelming, there were days I’d decline when she would bring it up.
“Look, I know I need to do this but I have a meeting with my manager as soon as our session is over, so maybe next session?”
Translation: This really isn’t a convenient time for me to have a break down so how about two Fridays from now at like, noon?
When I do engage in music therapy, she has me set an intention before we start. Sometimes it’s a statement, sometimes it’s a question. For this particular session, I’d been struggling with chronic, unyielding fatigue. I fully recognize it’s from all of the work I do. So the following question just… popped into my head:
Who am I when I’m not doing?
I’m still looking for the best way to answer this. I realize it’s a complex question, and complex questions take time.
It came to me on the cusp of summer, so I can’t help but feel that this is an invitation to use the warmth and freedom of the season to explore myself.
The hard truth I’ve had to sit with to date is that I’ve defined myself by what I can do - for others and for the world - for so long, I don’t know how to describe my being, even to myself, without them.
Maybe it’s capitalism, maybe it’s the immigrant mentality of needing to be useful and productive to make a meaningful life for my family. Maybe it’s something else entirely.
What initially felt like a terrifying question ended up feeling a bit more curious as the days passed. I’m actually looking forward to getting to know who I am without being defined by anything that asks me to perform.
cue mic drop!
collective themes + opportunities to reflect
I had my first ever vending event at Rest Fest earlier this month. It was such a meaningful experience. I made so many beautiful connections and pulled some incredible card combinations for some truly lovely folks. I also just love the energy of a small market.
A common theme began to emerge over the course of the day: most of my patrons were women, and they were all exhausted (which is probably why they were at Rest Fest!)
Many of these women were exasperated. The amount of collective emotional labor that women silently take on was so palpable in my little booth. From exhausted moms, to women ending long-term relationships, to women getting ready to step into retirement. Women are tired, y’all!
As I’m writing this, I’m just now making the connection between the exhaustion of my patrons and my own exhaustion above and chuckling to myself. I didn’t intend for this to happen, but here we are.
So here are some questions you can sit with. Tinker with them. You can answer for yourself, maybe use them to see the silent labor that women take on with a new perspective. Maybe you’ll think of someone in your life who could benefit from reflecting on how their labor affects them.
Notice the types of labor that leave you feeling exhausted. What was the most taxing thing about it?
Where have you noticed yourself taking on labor that could (or should) be shared?
What themes emerge when you reflect on the silent, background work that women in your life took on and continue to take on?
early access tea - hear it here first!
I’ve been casually/seriously studying Human Design for a few months now. I’m a 4/6 Reflector, and have been fascinated with using this system as a way to understand myself better. It’s given me great insight into understanding myself in a way that no other system has offered me.
You can now download your own Human Design chart on my website, and for a limited time, I’m offering 30-minute introductory readings at no cost. Since these are quick readings for a complex system, we’ll be covering the basics; just a little something to get you started on your Human Design journey!
subscriber exclusives
photo by courtney yau
I loved my day of intuitive reading at Rest Fest, so much so that I’m offering $5 off of all intuitive readings for the next month.
Use code BLUEMOON5 on your next intuitive reading. Expires 6/26!
If you want to take advantage of the Lunar Phases:
The Blue Moon on 5/31 is a Full Moon in Sagittarius - my sun sign. It’s an incredible day for a reading: it represents a powerful push to expand your horizons, seek the truth, and release any limiting beliefs that hold you back from your full potential.
if you’ve made it this far - thank you, truly
with warmth + light,
angela